Can you see? How do you know? How do you know that your eyes are not deceiving you? What if what you say you see are things you would like to see? Or that you wouldn't like to see? And by the way, when you see me, what do you think you see? It's a different question, you know? It's not the same thing, what you say you see and what you think I am! And most of the time that may not even correspond to what I really am! You see?! You see how difficult and complex it is? It's not as simple as you sometimes think it is. Or how you think I am.
Sometimes I like to get lost in the crowd. Doesn't that happen to you? The problem is that I can't hold out long in a crowd! Actually, I can't stand it at all, but I make myself do it. In the middle I'm another person like those people you see in the picture. I am another person. Someone going to work, or going home! Another person! Like you. Don't you know why I do that? Just try. I think you will! Try harder. Why do you think anyone would like to get lost in a crowd and feel like anyone else? Try that, get lost in the crowd and see how you feel. Yeah, I'll talk to you later.
You know, you can't see me. Yeah, that's actually it. You can't see me because your eyes are full of words about me. Things that you think are me. But I'm more than the words you say you read. Was my name written there? It wasn't, was it? See, they couldn't be talking about me. It's a book! So? So what? You're the one saying the book is talking about me, and I'm telling you that's not true. It's a diagnostic manual! So what!? You know my name. You know my name is Carlos (fictitious name). My name is not diagnosis. Why do you insist on that? I already told you that I'm not that person. I am more than that, just like you, have you thought?
You don't know any adult autistic people!? And why, have you thought about it? Why do you assume there aren't any? Why don't you see them? Have you thought that's reductive? Even for you. There are so many of us. Did you know that in Europe there are about 5 million autistic people? Have you seen how inattentive you've been? Where have you been? What have you been looking at? Can you see me? Can you see me? You don't see me at work, do you know why? Try to think about it! You don't want me there! Don't they? Haven't you heard them say that employing autistic people costs more money and is probably not even profitable?! And why won't I stay and enter data into the computer? Simple, because I don't want to! Simple, because I want to do different things! Simple, because I have ambitions! Simple, because I am qualified!
Valentine's Day is today? Yes, so? Why do you think I would care about Valentine's?! Because I do!? I don't care about that!? And what do you think that is? Is it the day you celebrate love? Really? You only have one day for that? Do you think I'm talking out of turn because I don't want to talk about it? Is that what you think? Why do you think? Because I'm autistic!? Really? Is that what you see!?
Comments